Happy Birthday Grandmother!!!

Ella Florine Cook Wallace

Today is my grandmothers birthday. She is 90 years young today. My grandmother has always been a fascinating person to me. She gave birth to 8 children, 1 boy, 7 girls. Her only son passed away at 6 months from complications to an illness. She has also suffered the loss of her husband and 3 grandchildren (including my sweet sister).

This is my grandmother holding me as a baby.

I find that I can relate to my grandmother's life - especially at this point in my own life -- like my grandmother, I too have a wide age range for my children -- I have two adult children and one preK child. My grandmother has 5 grandchildren who are older than her youngest child. She didn't have time to be the "conventional" grandmother since she was still raising her own children at the same time her grandchildren were coming along. BUT, that is ok. She was and still is a very FUN person!!! When I graduated from high school she asked me what I wanted as a gift.....I told her I wanted one of her famous "duck feather" pillows. She made me one and I kept it until it fell apart.

She has lived an awesome 90 years....so many changes in this country and world that she has seen or been a part of. She was left alone during WWII with 3 girls while her husband was fighting overseas. She could fish, hunt, and do whatever was necessary to take care of her family, and at the same time she was very much the "lady." She came from an era where women didn't have the right to vote; women took "care" of the house and children and their "man." Now she has granddaughters who are feminist, who are professionals, who work outside the home, who have chosen not to marry or who have chosen not to have children or they have several children; and those granddaughters are greatful to that grandmother who fought along with others so that they could have the right to vote and make choices for themselves.

I find some things very amusing with my grandmother. When I took sweet hubby to a family get together for the first time after we started dating, my grandmother told me that I needed to fix sweet hubby a plate of food and serve him......ummm, yea, that isn't happening!!! I just smiled and told grandmother that sweet hubby had two legs and two arms and he knew where the food was and if he was hungry he would take care of himself!!! Umm, yea, she was a little taken back by that but eventually she became used to her granddaughters "way out there" ideas.

This is a five generation picture that includes Great Grandmother (center seat) Grandmother (r) mom (l) and myself with Sarah (standing)

Even to this day when grandmother goes out "to town" she must be dressed appropriately including the makeup and LIPSTICK!! She is sometimes shocked that women don't "dress" appropriately for going out (and that includes applying the LIPSTICK), and by going out I mean things like Walmart or the grocery store. I hardly ever wear makeup these days and very rarely do I wear the lipstick, but I give grandmother a lot of credit, she does set the example for us even if we don't always follow it!!

My grandmother at 82 on a cruise with 5 of her 7 daughters and 4 granddaughters.

On Sunday we will be helping her to celebrate her wonderful life by attending church with her in her small town and then having a reception to honor her. I think I am very blessed to be a part of this wonderful lady's family. She is so intelligent, funny, and such a lady!!! Happy Birthday Grandmother!!!

For now the doctor is out, hoping she can live up to her legacy....and hoping she inherited those longevity genes!!!

The TRUE Meaning of Friendship

I have a birthday coming up soon. Usually as my birthday comes around I sit and ponder about my life....this year I am pondering about friends. I love my friends. I have great friends. But usually we all have great friends. This past year I was reminded of a lesson I learned many years ago about friendship and I want to finally share it.

When I was a teenager I had a LOT of friends. I went to a lot of parties, and sleepovers, shopping trips to the mall, etc. I thought I was really something since I came from a lower middle class family and ALL my friends were from upper middle class and upper class families living in wonderful homes and doing wonderful things. My daddy always made sure that I could do some of the things they did...he would give me what extra money he had so that I could sort of keep up. He was a great daddy! Then one day my daddy was in a motorcycle accident.....crushed leg....hospital for a long time.... rehab for a year.....cast for two years....lost business.....no job.....mother went back to work to support a family of five kids....lots of stress.....no extra money....needed a job to buy school clothes....lots of stress.......where are my friends????

They were continuing on with thier lives, parties, sleepovers, and the mall. Depression sets in with this teenager whose life has been turned upside down. Withdrawal from the world of friends, with the exception of one girl who stayed by my side through all of it. Still had sleepovers at her house, still went to the mall with her (even though I couldn't buy anything) and still went to parties with her. I love her to this day. One mall trip was made so special by her and I will never forget it. We packed our lunch (sandwiches and chips)and put it in our purse and her mom dropped us off at the mall to go window shopping. Our plan: try on all the new fall fashions as though we were actually going to buy them!!! She didn't buy anything and of course I couldn't. We spent an entire day going from store to store trying on new, crisp, fashionable clothing knowing that we weren't buying anything that day. Then we went to the Orange Julius and bought a drink and sat in the mall eating our sack lunch and laughing. I love this girl!!!! She was (and still is) an amazing friend to me in a trying time of my life. (One thing that happened during this time was that with all of the staying at home I did my grades came up and I was asked to join the honor society - eventually making new friends in a different crowd - wonderful for me because of so many other reasons that won't be addressed here).

So I have come to understand the meaning of friendship and have been reminded of it this past year. There are all kinds of friends, wonderful people who love you, who do things with you, who are there for you. So here is my definition of friends:

Family friends - the family members (extended members included) who love you in spite of being family!!! YOu know who you are. My first best friend was my cousin Tami......we loved hard, we fought hard, we played hard, and we got into trouble together. You always found us together. I love you Tami!!!

My sisters - I love my sisters!!!! I lost my youngest sister 3 years ago. I miss her terribly! But, my other younger sister, Mimi, is the greatest!!! We grew up fighting each other like cats and dogs but eventually found that we couldn't live without each other. We do so much together, family vacations, lunches, outings, etc. ONe time someone made a comment about what such good friends we were and they thought it was so great that two friends did so much together and then were shocked when we told them that we are sisters - sisters who are friends.

My daughter - What can I say... the two of us fighting against the world!!! Just the two of us for so long!! What a wonderful daughter and friend you are. I love you dearly.

My parents - I always loved being around my parents. They are so much fun!! I miss my daddy so very much and I miss his wisdom and his love. I still am fortunate to have a mom who I can do things with and spend time with.

My husband - what can I say.....he is my BEST friend.

Then we have what we call Acquaintances. These are people who we call friends because we see them on a regular basis. They are people that we do things with on occasion. We have lunch with them, or go to a party with them, or go to church with them. We see them in the store and stop and talk to them. We know some better than others but we still consider them our friends.

We also have Long Distance Friends. THese are the people that we know and love but they had to move away or you had to move away. You still keep in contact and you still visit each other. We don't get to spend as much time with them anymore but they are still very special to us. Maybe they are True Friends as well.


Then we have TRUE FRIENDS!!! These are the people who know us.....they know our backstage personality and love us in spite of it. (Backstage personality ---you ask what is this? Well I will tell you....socialogically speaking, we have TWO types of personality - a Front stage and a Back stage personality. Your front stage personality is your best performance of YOU!!! This is the you that you want the world to see.....you know, the person you are on that first date, when you meet someone important, when you are around people you don't really know. The backstage personality is the person you are at home with your family members who can't disown you because you are certifiably crazy!!! This is the personality that shows that you are human.....you get sad, you are happy, you cry, and you have a BAD day that you take out on your family because they LOVE you no matter how awful you can be).

TRUE FRIENDS are always there for you....like my teen friend who took me to the mall and showed me that we could have a good time even though I didn't have any money. True friends come over in the middle of the night when our hearts are broken, when we lose someone we love, when we become engaged, and just because. True friends can be silly with us or cry with us. A TRUE FRIEND loves us when we are having a bad day, they tell us that our hair looks good or HORRIBLE in that color, cut, etc. True freinds don't care if you are poor or rich, fat or skinny, they love all of you all of the time.

I was reminded of this because this past year I am coming out of a "somewhat severe" depression. Depression that was caused by a lot of life changes....new kids, (new baby), extended family members passing, my sister passing, my dad passing, my daughter being diagnosed with cancer and surving it!! Opening a business then losing a business. Finishing a degree that took me longer to get because of some of the changes happening. Through all of this my TRUE FRIENDS have been there with me. When I started to withdrawal from the world they called me and dragged me out even though I was lousy company. When I just wanted to sit and cry - they were there right beside me (sometimes physically and alot of the time spiritually). My true friends kept me updated on the world that I was missing, on the people in it, on the life that was going on around me that I didn't want to be a part of. Thank you true friends.

I feel that I am so blessed because I have so many good friends. I love my family friends - they are so wonderful and fun; I love my acquaintance friends whom I am getting to know better these days since I have ventured back into the real world and who may become one of my true friends as well, you guys are wonderful and I so enjoy your lives and being a part of them; I love my long - distance friends - the ones I get to play with when I travel to their new city and are able to keep in touch with better because of the internet email and of course the lifesaver FACEBOOK; AND I admire and revere those gals who are there with me at my worst - who worry about my mental state and whether or not I am going back to the "bad" place and what they need to do to pull away from it. YOU ARE BEST!!!! I am so thankful for you - my True Friends.

For now, the doctor is out.....hoping that everyone has a TRUE FRIEND somewhere out there.

PS. Family, I know that I am behind on The Franklin Diaries but I will catch up sometime this week.....please be patient with this crazy doctor!!!