Thursday, May 1, 2008

My Friend, My Sister.....You are Remembered

May 1, 2005

Our family was changed forever....how could this be? What?! What do you mean she is gone?! How can this be? She is so young, she has a family who needs her, who loves her, who can't go on without her... IT IS NOT OK AND IT WILL NEVER BE OK AGAIN....NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.....LIFE IS SO UNFAIR....NOT HER, NOT OUR BABY SISTER....NOT TAYLOR'S MOTHER.....


Octbober 30, 1963, born two months premature was twins - a little boy and a little girl. The doctor says they may not live since they are only 4 and 3 lbs. One month in the hospital, then they come home - healthy at 5 lbs. Constant round the clock feedings to keep them healthy. Overprotectiveness to keep them healthy. Strong, healthy children as the years go by.

Our Robin is fierce, strong, and independent. A little fireball but still so sweet. She has plans for her future: college first, then marriage, then children. Broken hearts along the way because they didn't fit into her map of life. Finally, at 29 years of age she finds the love of her life, Michael, and together they bring the second love of their lives into this world... Taylor.

Something is wrong. You think this weight gain is caused by a tumor? You are looking in my lungs? Wait, what do you mean I might have bone cancer? Oh, I do have a tumor....you are going to operate on me....you mean it is at the base of my brain....the pituitary gland? Oh, it is very small and you don't know if you got it all. A year later....it's grown back?! You mean I have to do this surgery all over again? I don't know....it is so hard...you still don't think you got it all...what now? You can't go back in again...oh, it will kill me if you do....yes, I will watch myself....I will be careful. ANother surgery? The adrenal glands have to come out....this can't be happening again. If I must, I must. More MRI's, more tests, things seem to be ok....for now.


Ten years to be a mom is not enough especially if you are a mom to a special needs child. But what a mom she was. Such a special bond between child and mom....Taylor always knew when things were about to happen to Robin...Taylor would hover close by -not wanting to leave her side...Now Taylor looks to heaven to talk to his mom...My mom is in the clouds wih Jesus....My mom is in the hospital in heaven....she is sick and can't come home now... Taylor talks to his mom here on earth...Who are you talking to Taylor? Dad, mom is right over there, she said we will be ok, she loves us and she wants us to be good. We'll be good for you mom, we love you mom, don't leave me mom....

Three years ago today.....a loving husband lost his wife, an adorable autistic son lost his mother, parents lost a daughter, and siblings lost their sister....

For now the doctor is out....remembering and oh so greatful to have known and loved her...

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