Leaving on a Jet Plane (with crazy wierd people sitting beside me)

When I was a child growing up air travel was not an option for my family....just way too much money for a family of 6.   I was 19 when I flew for the first time which involved saving a ton (in 19 yr old terms) of money so that my sister and I could fly to Utah for spring break.  How cool is that?????  That was also a very uneventful trip (unless you count the kamikaze dive Mimi took over the side of the mountain - not literally but you get the jist).  After that first trip I have since been cursed with the abnormal, sometimes super scary, and craziest flights.

When Sarah was born we lived in California.  At 2 months of age, I decided that Sarah needed to take her first trip back to the south to meet and re-meet grandparents.  And, of course we needed a side trip to visit Mimi in Utah.  Traveling with a baby is like moving -- you have to take everything with you.   So we are loaded up on this plane traveling from LA to Salt Lake City and everything is going great.  We have a seat by a man (who doesn't talk to us- ok by me) and a baby who is doing great on this flight.  However, I notice that we have circled SLC several times -- I mean how many times do you pass the SLC Temple in flight -  once I saw it 5 times I knew something wasn't right.   About that time Sarah is wet and hungry and most definitely not happy - and the flight attendant is making that dreaded announcement "Ladies and gentlemen, there is something wrong with our landing gear.  So we are circling downtown SLC to use up as much fuel as we can.  When we get ready to land we will all need to get into the emergency landing position with your head down on your knee."   Ok, what the heck????   People are trying to stay calm, etc, but tears are coming -- thoughts of death and family, etc., etc.   All I can think of is that I have a baby who wants to be changed RIGHT NOW!!!!   So we circle another 30 minutes or so.  The man sitting next to me is becoming a little agitated with this crying baby beside him.  He gets into the overhead bin to get his coat so that if we crash land he will be warm I guess.   The man behind me sticks his head between the seats and asks if he can help me with anything and tells me that he will get my coat for me and that right now his only concern is for me and my crying baby (my heart melts and the tears flow).   Why couldn't he be my seat partner?????    Needless to say we all got into the crash landing position and made it safely to the ground -- with firetrucks everywhere waiting on us.....the landing gear worked and we landed without incident but I always remember fondly the man behind me who helped me with everything (car seat, bags, etc) de-plane.  

On one flight from Atlanta to LA, Sarah (18 months) and I were bumped up to 1st class!!!   What a wonderful flight ---- and Boss Hog was in the seat right across from us....this was one of those fun exciting trips where crazy weird people aren't sitting next to you but wonderful flight attendants are constantly wanting to know if they can help you with your toddler, bring you something to drink, eat, read, or whatever will make your flight enjoyable.  Boss Hog also had his girlfriend with him and she was very nice to Sarah -- Boss Hog even made goo goo eyes at her.  Ahhh, it would be nice to have more trips like that one.....

It is always that seat next to me that scares me the most about flying....I mean I can agonize over who will be the person I have to sit by for x number of hours....will they want to talk, will they be rude, will they take up all the arm space.     For years, I couldn't read on flights due to motion sickness but now they make these wonderful motion sickness bands that I wear on my wrists so that I can read and if I want to ignore the person next to me I pull out the book.  But before that glorious time I encountered the strangest seat partner.

We were on a family trip to Hawaii:  My dad and mom, Mimi, Sarah, Josh, and me....a lonnnnng 7 hour plane ride.... First thing, on the LR to Dallas leg I am seated next to a rather normal looking guy, until the plane starts to back out of the terminal and head to the run way.....can we say SCARRRRYYYYY!!!!!!    This normal looking man starts talking to his ring!!!!   Then he has this weird hissing laugh after he talks to his ring.  Mind you this was way before 9/11 screenings because I know if it were after I would have pull the flight attendant over and BEGGED her to get rid of the scarry talking to your ring guy.  I mean who talks to their ring and then does a hissing laugh about it.  

So this week I traveled to NYC to visit with my friend/colleague Sri.  As I am going through security I see this sweet looking little Japanese woman in a wheelchair saying goodbye to her family.  My heart is melting - how sweet!!!   As I board the plane I find that I get to sit in the bulkhead seat (hey it isn't 1st class but it is close!) sweet little Japanese lady is in the center seat....oh, good, this will be a nice ride.  Little Japanese lady has a sign around her neck :  I don't speak English and I am disabled.   Oh, this will be a QUIET ride.     About that time aisle seat man boards --- as he is putting his luggage in the overhead compartment, little sweet Japanese lady stands up and points to the middle seat --- does a couple of grunt things, continues to look at man and pointing to the middle seat..... the man then sits in the middle seat looks at me and states that he really wanted to sit on the aisle (I am thinking how sweet of him to actually give up his seat for the now grunting not so sweet Japanese lady  - and I am wondering what did I do to offend not so sweet Japanese lady --- I took my shower that morning).   Oh, well, the man seems rather harmless and we discuss San Francisco where he is going for a week. During the flight he pulls out his coat - yes that would be his winter jacket - and puts it on.  I am dying in the heat with the air vent turned on me and he is putting on his coat!!!   Then he pulls out his printed 12 x 14 page Excel spreadsheet with print so tiny I don't know how in the world he can read it.....yes, I am a little alarmed at the moment....is this the engineering plans of the plane so he can set off the bomb -- he has his coat on ready for something!!!   He would study this sheet for a while and then put it up, then bring it back out.  When the plane landed he jumped up and almost knocked down not so sweet Japanese lady to get off the plane...I am thinking oh, crap he set the bomb to go off for so many minutes after he deplaned!!!!  I know, I know,  I must be demented!!!   

I think I need to look at seat partners with a little more compassion or something or maybe fly 1st class -- I wonder if you get crazy weird people as seat partners in 1st class....ummmm...

For now the doctor is out......hoping she can get bumped to 1st class on the flight home from NYC....that sounds like a plan!!!