Saturday, December 18, 2010

Re-post of The Wind Beneath My Wings

Sweet hubby and I just celebrated 16 years of marriage and I thought instead of a new post on the blog I would just do a re-post of one from last year.

THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS!!
It's no secret I had a very bad 1st marriage. I went into that marriage full of life, happiness, and on top of the world. I left that marriage a very broken person, wondering if I could ever become my old self again, wondering about my self worth, my own intelligence, my skills as a mother, and myself as an individual. I left that marriage with a beautiful daughter who kept me grounded and gave me hope for the future. I never intended to get married again. NEVER, and I really mean NEVER. Around that time there was a song entitled, "Me and You Against the World," and it became my theme song with my daughter. Eventually I began to gain back my self, the me I knew was there somewhere. I made a decision to go back to college to get the degree I was working on when I married. Not long after this I was introduced to sweet hubby.
(Thank you Kera!).



Sweet hubby was a blessing from the Lord. When sweet hubby asked me out on a date, it was "I would like to take you and Sarah...." What more could a person want than an individual in her life that recognized she came as a package - with a child. Sweet hubby never excluded Sarah in anything we did together while dating. In fact sweet hubby brought along Joshua too (his son from his 1st marriage). Sweet hubby always understood my need for independence and never pushed me on that. Sweet hubby did very gently take care of me. At this time in my life I was very serious about everything...working, raising a child by myself, and working on my BA....I had forgotton how to laugh or have fun...sweet hubby brought laughter and fun back into my life.



After dating for six years (yes, six years) sweet hubby and I were married. Sweet hubby was very understanding when I wanted separate checking accounts. At this time I was just finishing up my Master's Degree. Sweet hubby was very supportive when I spent hours working on my thesis. Sweet hubby was also supportive when I took a research job at the university which required a lot of travel. Then when the university asked me to teach 2 undergraduate classes at night, sweet hubby was very supportive again. Sweet hubby took over the household things so that I could live my dream of teaching at a university. Sweet hubby became the chauffer for Sarah taking her to school each day and eventually to early morning seminary.


When I told sweet hubby I was ready to get my doctorate he was right there beside me. I was working as an evaluator for a non-profit at the time and getting a doctorate meant driving 2.5 hours one way to Memphis two days a week. Sweet hubby closed down the business early two afternoons a week to drive with me to Memphis. Working fulltime and taking classes began to take up more and more of my time. Sweet hubby once again took over the household stuff. As I sat at a computer every evening working on projects, research papers, residency project, and finally dissertation sweet hubby would miraculously show up with a plate of dinner for me to eat while typing away. With a doctorate program comes many opportunities to present papers at conferences. As each conference came up sweet hubby proudly sent me away to make my mark on the world of research. In order to really make my mark in the world of research conferences became international. Again, sweet hubby proudly sent me on my way to do what I dreamed of doing and continues to support me each year as I come running in to tell him my paper was accepted at the Barcelona conference, the Belfast conference, and the most recent - Cambridge conference. Sweet hubby holds our house together when I am working fervently on papers for publication. Sweet hubby encourages me constantly to reach for those stars.


Sweet hubby never balked when I said I wanted to go visit Sarah - whether in Utah, Kansas or New York, he would smile and send me on my way. Sweet hubby is also very understanding about my yearly ski trips with my aunt or my trips with my sister and mom.


Sweet hubby is an example of service to me, never complaining when asked to do service for others or fulfilling his callings within our church. When sweet hubby and I got married my theme song, "You and Me Against the World" went out the door and was replaced by, "The Wind Beneath My Wings." Sweet hubby gives me the courage, the love, the support, and the desire to reach for the stars and live my dreams. I am truly blessed to have sweet hubby in my life. Sweet hubby is my everything and more. Sweet hubby is the wind beneath my wings.




For now the doctor is out....thinking about how truly blessed she is having sweet hubby in her life.




Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas is Back....

5 years ago I abandoned Christmas.   5 years ago I stopped sending out my Christmas cards; I stopped making my goodie baskets for friends and associates; I stopped doing the extra fun stuff that is all Christmas;  and I didn't put up a tree.  5 years ago I didn't care if Christmas came or not --- 5 years ago I lost my sister and my dad.....Christmas was never to be the same again.....I just didn't want to deal with any of it.   It has taken 5 years for Christmas to fully return to our home.

For the past 5 years we have run from Christmas.....going to Kansas the first year because there were no memories of my sister and my dad there....it was a different kind of day for us.  4 years ago, we put up the tree but we didn't do much of anything else since the day after Christmas my daughter was having surgery to remove the football size tumor from her ovary.  3 years ago we put up the tree but nothing else. 2 years ago we didn't put up the tree but instead went to NYC to spend the time with Sarah; last year we began our trek back to Christmas at home.   We put up the tree and we spent it together as a family.

This year Christmas came back to our home in full force.  It hasn't been easy but it is here.  This year I put up our tree.  This year I pulled out all things Christmas to decorate the house. 

This year I made an advent calendar for Caleb


and the Christmas Tree Box


and the new Christmas tree skirt


decorated 

our tree


This year there is an elf who sits on our shelf in a different place each morning.  This year Caleb and I search our home every morning to see where he is and giggle at the many crazy places we find him.

This year I am sending out Christmas cards.  This year I am making the goodie baskets again.  This year the music is on in our house everyday.  This year we will go look at Christmas lights.

This year we are celebrating the birth of Christ. 

This year we will remember fondly of the many Christmas' that we had with our family when we were all here to celebrate.  We will remember Robin and we will remember my dad....and we will miss them terribly but we will make it through this day with joy and love in our hearts.




For now the doctor is out......remembering a certain Christmas where 3 little girls snuck out of bed in the wee hours of the morning to see what Santa brought to us......

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Is it Leonard, Bob, or Lizzie????

I walked downstairs to my office this morning and found this:



During the chaos of finding the lizard my daughter Sarah called me on my cell phone......to unintentionally add more chaos!!!  How could Sarah add chaos to the already chaotic situation, well let me tell you.....

When it rains at our house or the cold sets in we tend to get lizards....they slither their way into our downstairs (which is my office and Caleb's playroom that used to be Sarah's bedroom).   Last year while Sarah was staying with us she would name the lizards she found in her room.....Larry, Liza, Lisa, etc.  

This is what happened this morning after discovering the lizard:

Caleb:  I can get my bug catcher and keep him as my pet!!
Me:  Absolutely not!!!
Phone rings.  It is Sarah.  I explain to her what is going on.
Sarah:  Is it Larry?  Has he come back?
Me: No, this is BIG!!!
Caleb:  It's real big and his name is Bob!!
Sarah: No, you cant' name him Bob, it's Leonard!!!
Caleb:  laughing, no I am naming him Bob and he is my pet!
Me: He is not a pet and he is leaving!!! 
Sarah:  laughing hysterically, you have to name him  Leonard!!
Me:  I have to get dad in here to get rid of him!
Caleb: No, I want to keep him in my bug catcher and name him Bob.
Sarah:  Caleb, you have to name him Leonard.
Me:  Stop naming him he is leaving!!!!!!
Me:  Sarah I have to go so I can get in touch with dad to get rid of him....click

So I call sweet hubby and tell him to get in the house as soon as he can!!! Thank goodness he was here today!!   He comes into the house LAUGHING.......I am so confused...

Me: Why are you laughing?
SH: I guess you found the lizard.
Me: YOU KNEW THERE WAS A LIZARD IN MY OFFICE!!!!!!!!!
SH:  I tried to get him out a couple of days ago but he got away from me.
Caleb:  His name is BOB!!!  And I want him for my pet!!!
Me:  Get that lizard out of here NOW!!!
SH to Caleb: You are naming him Bob?  That is a good name!!

As sweet hubby is catching the lizard and letting it go far away in our yard, Caleb looks at me and says, you know mom, he might be a Lizzy....


For now the doctor is out......searching online to find out how to keep slithering Larry, Lisa, Liza, Leonard, Bob or Lizzie out of my office!!!!