Happy 7th Birthday Dear Caleb!!!

Birthday's have always been something to celebrate in my family.  I loved planning the fun birthdays for Sarah each year....there was the Burger King party, the McDonald's party, the Chucke Cheese party, then later the skating rink parties and overnight parties.  Birthdays are meant to be celebrated!!  When Caleb came along we did the small family party for him the first couple of years and then when he turned 4 we did a fun cookout party at the park with lots of friends.  As 5 approached we were at the point where we knew Caleb didn't enjoy crowds and was not a social person so when I asked him about a party he said no.  So we did the low key thing for him.  Same for when he turned 6....no party (his choice).   A couple of weeks before he turned 7 I asked him again about having a party and inviting friends from church....same response ....no party.....I tried to bribe him into a party ... suggesting we could go bowling (one of his favorite things) or go skating.... but he was adament about it....NO PARTY!   So I didn't plan a party.  In the meantime he had completed some medical testing and was diagnosed with Aspberger's and anxiety disorder.   He was given meds for the anxiety and we soon noticed the change in his behavior where it didn't bother him as much to be around others.  So the day before he turned 7 we attended a birthday party for a good friend (who was turning 40!) and Caleb still didnt' handle the crowd very well but he would talk to people one on one.   He had a conversation with a good friend of ours and explained to her that he wasn't having a birthday party or getting any presents since his birthday was on a Sunday.....  ummm, he wasn't having a party because he didn't want one ....and, he had presents --- we had already bought one of his presents and he had gotten presents in the mail from Sarah and Grandma Ratliff!!     I was in shock....he really wanted to have a party....he talked about it on the way home that evening....he really wanted to open some presents and have a cake....oh my gosh...it is 10:00 at night and I have to pull together a party for Caleb!!!!

I get on my cell pronto and call my sister to tell her we are having a birthday party for Caleb at her house after church on Sunday!!!  I pass Caleb off to sweet hubby and head to Walmart....they are the only place open at 10 pm on a Saturday night .....fill up a cart with fun presents to be given to him from his cousins, aunt, and nana as well as a couple of things from mom and dad.   I also buy some cupcakes and his favorite iced cookies.  

On Sunday morning I present Caleb with breakfast in bed ....his favorite....strawberry poptarts!!!  (Sweet hubby isn't home on Sunday morning since he had to leave early for a High Council visit to another church unit).   

Later that day we meet up at my sister's hosue for a surprise birthday event for Caleb. I love that he was so surpised about everything.

He enjoyed opening presents from his cousins, aunt and nana!

When sweet hubby arrived a little later, he sent Caleb out to his truck to get a diet coke...

only Caleb found this instead!

The funny part about the 4 wheeler is that Grandma Ratliff sent Caleb a gift card in the mail and Caleb wanted to use it to buy a 4 wheeler....

I had a hard time trying to convince him he was a little short on the money!!!

Sweet hubby walked behind Caleb on this 4 wheeler all afternoon.....he even reset the gas flow 3 different times to make it go very SLOW!!!!   I was more afraid that sweet hubby would have a heart attack over Caleb riding than Caleb getting hurt himself ont he thing!!!   They have finally compromised on the rules (and yes there are many rules!!!)

Happy Birthday my sweet Caleb!!!!

For now the doctor is out.....thinking that maybe next year when sweet Caleb turns 8 we can have a real birthday party....one can always hope and plan!!!

Miracle of Miracles

Last year Caleb played baseball for the 1st time.  He really loved playing and wanted to play again this year.  We started out with the same team he played for last year....but, the team had advanced to a level that Caleb couldn't work with.  In baseball there are times when you have to turn on a dime or move fast in a different direction....Caleb can't do that and it became very obvious that playing on a regular baseball team wasn't going to work for Caleb.  Last year Caleb could use his own bat but this year he wouldn't be able to use his own bat since it was a t-ball bat.  Caleb couldn't comprehend this since he is OCD and MUST keep things the same.  There were several other issues as well...but mainly for me it was very painful to see this little guy feeling so lost on the field after such a great time last year. 

After doing some checking around we found Mircale League.   We registered and waited for the call back.  Finally it came and Caleb had a team.  He plays for the Astros and has a great coach.  

I explained to Caleb that he would get to play baseball on a team with kids who were just like him, and kids who are in wheelchairs or walkers or kids who are like his aunt Mona (down syndrome).  He was excited and volunteered to push wheelchairs if needed. 

Each player is assigned a buddy.  The buddy is on the field with the players and at bat with the players.  They use special equipment for each player ...larger round bats and softer balls or larger balls.  They have balls that ping so the blind child knows  where to swing to hit the ball, then a coach uses a clicker and walks backwards towards the base so the blind child and buddy know where to run towards the bases.  It is AMAZING and WONDERFUL to watch these special children play ball.    EVERY child gets to hit the ball and every child plays in the field.  It is non-competion this year but next year he can play competion if he chooses. 

In the fall he will get to meet A.J. Burnett and Cliff Lee.....I think I am more excited about this than he is since I LOVE and WATCH baseball!!!!



A very nervous Caleb



at bat

Caleb and his buddy

Caleb hit ball twice and ran the bases.  There are no outs and the last child up to bat hits a GRAND SLAM to clear the bases. 

We plan to go watch our old team (the Bulldogs) play ball and support them.  We are excited to spend our Saturdays at the Junior Deputy field watching and cheering for our new team - the ASTROS!!

For now the Doctor is out......looking forward to baseball season

and seeing the smiles on some very special children.

Goodbye Taylor Loop Road

There is an old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child."   Well my village existed on Taylor Loop Road with a grandmother who lived across the street, aunts/uncles, cousins for neighbors as well as great aunts/uncles, 2nd and 3rd cousins living down the street. 

Growing up my goal was to leave "Taylor Loop."   Anywhere would be better.  I did leave and then I came back.  I left once more and then came back with my little girl in tow.  It's funny but the entire time I lived away from my "village" all I could think about was raising my own child in that safe village  instead of in California where we lived. 

Taylor Loop meant a lot to me as child growing up......

It was where grandma lived.......

she wiped our tears away, fed us a meal, and "took a switch" to our legs when we disobeyed.....she greeted us with hugs and a smile and a place to warm our feet and hands after playing outside in the cold.....she taught us things from the scriptures - like not to envy what others had and be grateful for what we did have.....she taught us how to celebrate the 3rd of July and told us ghost stories...

.she taught us family came first no matter what and family will always be there for you

in the best of times and in the worst of times.

It was where I played with my cousins......

they lived in every direction......we rode our bikes to Rainey's market and to the railroad dump.....we played 4-square in the street.....softball in the field......caught tadpoles in the creek and lightening bugs at night.....we slept in lawn chairs on the 3rd of July so we could hear stories from our parents youth.....

we fought and then we made up.

It was where my parents built our house.....

gave us a yard to play in......taught us to ride bikes then taught us to ride the mini-bike and later motorcycles.....let Robin have a horse (for a short time).....taught us how to play softball and

 told us stories of our heritage.

Eventually the developers came to our village and began dismantling it.....

starting on the far side and working thier way towards us....some said this is a good thing, while others deemed it the end of a good thing...either way, it couldn't be stopped.  One by one property began to sell and larger homes in developed subdivisions started popping up all around....then a new school was built (on the land where my grandma lived, where we held 3rd of July bar-b-ques, where we played, where we existed)....but that wasn't enough....new roads came through and then the name change came about.....Taylor Loop (west end ) became LaMarche Drive.... but through all of the changes my family held on to their property (even though they hadn't lived there in many years)....that is until this week....

This week....

the property sold.

And it is time to say.....

Goodbye Taylor Loop Road

Your village of love will certainly be missed.

For now, the doctor is out.....remembering that a long time ago, there was a village...and in the village lived many important people....grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins...lots and lots of family

It's a Snow Day!!

Snow days are rare in Arkansas and when they happen it shuts us completely down because we don't have the equipment needed to maintain clear roads, etc. It started snowing on Sunday afternoon and within an hour everything was completely covered. In all we got about 6 inches of snow here and some parts of the state got up to 8 - 10 inches.

When I was a kid I loved snow days!! I loved getting in my daddy's truck and driving down to a local parking lot where we did 360's or donuts as some call it. Or we would gather up a sled and go over a few streets to this huge hill and ride the sled down that hill. We would stay out until we were totally frozen then come in warm up and go out in it again.

I was very excited for this good amount of snow and the opportunity that Caleb would have in getting to play in. We lost our power 2 hours after the snow began falling and didn't get it back on until the next morning. Sweet hubby and I decided to take Caleb over to my sister's house since we didn't have heat and so he would be able to play out in the snow with his cousins. I called the next morning to see how things were going and to ask my neice to take a lot of pictures of Caleb in the snow so that I would have them for my scrapbook.....that is when Caleb informed everyone that he WASN'T going out in that stuff!!! AND HE DIDN'T GO OUT. AT. ALL. He didn't want to build a snowman. He didn't want to slide around on a sled. He didn't want to have a snowball fight. He didn't care about the snow at all.

So here are my snow pictures of the big event:

The windshield of my truck



My shoes

Later that night sweet hubby took me to my fabric store to pick up some things and then out to eat at the local Mexican restaurant.  As we are walking out I snapped a quick picture of Caleb in the snow ....he was not happy with me and it isn't a good picture but it is all that I have.



Caleb in the snow of January 2011


Hopefully this won't be our last snow of the season.  Hopefully I can talk Caleb into playing outside in the snow next time.....

For now the doctor is out.......remembering her own fun days of playing in the snow with her family.


Time to make the new year's resolutions.....

It is now January 1, 2011 --- I mean right this minute! So I guess that means the beginning of the new year resolutions....ummm not exactly since they aren't ever kept. So instead of resolutions I will just set some goals for the upcoming year; goals with objectives, that can be measured....after all I am a researcher and that is one of the things we do.

Goals:

1. Organization.

I used to be the most organized person on the earth....a planner in hand and a list in the other. But I stopped working fulltime about 7 years ago and that organization just went out the window, not all at once but slowly over the last few years. However, I have found that when you lose your organizational skills you end up with clutter....in every part of your life so it is time to remove the clutter.

a. Once you have organization, you have a clean house always...

I remember those days...

b. you have more time or scheduled time that allows you to sew more.....

c. and quilt more......

d. then I can do more scrapbooking and updating of scrapbooks...

e. more time to play with Caleb....

f. more time to be efficient in planning my dinner meals with

sweet hubby and Caleb and maybe actually cooking them....

g. with organization there is time for exercising as well as playing

tennis a couple of times a week without feeling guilty for taking

the "me" time.....

h. organization will help me to work on "me".....removing the clutter

that is within me giving me more time for personal prayer and

scripture reading; time to meditate on the good things in my

life......

Wow, just one goal for the year....ORGANIZATION....with a few objectives to achieve it.

Ummm, hopefully this won't be like the usual new year's resolutions that have vanished by the end of January.....

For now the doctor is out.....wishing each and everyone a very happy new year and may you all set your goals for the year....

Re-post of The Wind Beneath My Wings

Sweet hubby and I just celebrated 16 years of marriage and I thought instead of a new post on the blog I would just do a re-post of one from last year.

THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS!!

It's no secret I had a very bad 1st marriage. I went into that marriage full of life, happiness, and on top of the world. I left that marriage a very broken person, wondering if I could ever become my old self again, wondering about my self worth, my own intelligence, my skills as a mother, and myself as an individual. I left that marriage with a beautiful daughter who kept me grounded and gave me hope for the future. I never intended to get married again. NEVER, and I really mean NEVER. Around that time there was a song entitled, "Me and You Against the World," and it became my theme song with my daughter. Eventually I began to gain back my self, the me I knew was there somewhere. I made a decision to go back to college to get the degree I was working on when I married. Not long after this I was introduced to sweet hubby.

(Thank you Kera!).

Sweet hubby was a blessing from the Lord. When sweet hubby asked me out on a date, it was "I would like to take you and Sarah...." What more could a person want than an individual in her life that recognized she came as a package - with a child. Sweet hubby never excluded Sarah in anything we did together while dating. In fact sweet hubby brought along Joshua too (his son from his 1st marriage). Sweet hubby always understood my need for independence and never pushed me on that. Sweet hubby did very gently take care of me. At this time in my life I was very serious about everything...working, raising a child by myself, and working on my BA....I had forgotton how to laugh or have fun...sweet hubby brought laughter and fun back into my life.

After dating for six years (yes, six years) sweet hubby and I were married. Sweet hubby was very understanding when I wanted separate checking accounts. At this time I was just finishing up my Master's Degree. Sweet hubby was very supportive when I spent hours working on my thesis. Sweet hubby was also supportive when I took a research job at the university which required a lot of travel. Then when the university asked me to teach 2 undergraduate classes at night, sweet hubby was very supportive again. Sweet hubby took over the household things so that I could live my dream of teaching at a university. Sweet hubby became the chauffer for Sarah taking her to school each day and eventually to early morning seminary.

When I told sweet hubby I was ready to get my doctorate he was right there beside me. I was working as an evaluator for a non-profit at the time and getting a doctorate meant driving 2.5 hours one way to Memphis two days a week. Sweet hubby closed down the business early two afternoons a week to drive with me to Memphis. Working fulltime and taking classes began to take up more and more of my time. Sweet hubby once again took over the household stuff. As I sat at a computer every evening working on projects, research papers, residency project, and finally dissertation sweet hubby would miraculously show up with a plate of dinner for me to eat while typing away. With a doctorate program comes many opportunities to present papers at conferences. As each conference came up sweet hubby proudly sent me away to make my mark on the world of research. In order to really make my mark in the world of research conferences became international. Again, sweet hubby proudly sent me on my way to do what I dreamed of doing and continues to support me each year as I come running in to tell him my paper was accepted at the Barcelona conference, the Belfast conference, and the most recent - Cambridge conference. Sweet hubby holds our house together when I am working fervently on papers for publication. Sweet hubby encourages me constantly to reach for those stars.

Sweet hubby never balked when I said I wanted to go visit Sarah - whether in Utah, Kansas or New York, he would smile and send me on my way. Sweet hubby is also very understanding about my yearly ski trips with my aunt or my trips with my sister and mom.

Sweet hubby is an example of service to me, never complaining when asked to do service for others or fulfilling his callings within our church. When sweet hubby and I got married my theme song, "You and Me Against the World" went out the door and was replaced by, "The Wind Beneath My Wings." Sweet hubby gives me the courage, the love, the support, and the desire to reach for the stars and live my dreams. I am truly blessed to have sweet hubby in my life. Sweet hubby is my everything and more. Sweet hubby is the wind beneath my wings.

For now the doctor is out....thinking about how truly blessed she is having sweet hubby in her life.

Christmas is Back....

5 years ago I abandoned Christmas.   5 years ago I stopped sending out my Christmas cards; I stopped making my goodie baskets for friends and associates; I stopped doing the extra fun stuff that is all Christmas;  and I didn't put up a tree.  5 years ago I didn't care if Christmas came or not --- 5 years ago I lost my sister and my dad.....Christmas was never to be the same again.....I just didn't want to deal with any of it.   It has taken 5 years for Christmas to fully return to our home.

For the past 5 years we have run from Christmas.....going to Kansas the first year because there were no memories of my sister and my dad there....it was a different kind of day for us.  4 years ago, we put up the tree but we didn't do much of anything else since the day after Christmas my daughter was having surgery to remove the football size tumor from her ovary.  3 years ago we put up the tree but nothing else. 2 years ago we didn't put up the tree but instead went to NYC to spend the time with Sarah; last year we began our trek back to Christmas at home.   We put up the tree and we spent it together as a family.

This year Christmas came back to our home in full force.  It hasn't been easy but it is here.  This year I put up our tree.  This year I pulled out all things Christmas to decorate the house. 

This year I made an advent calendar for Caleb

and the Christmas Tree Box

and the new Christmas tree skirt

decorated 

our tree

This year there is an elf who sits on our shelf in a different place each morning.  This year Caleb and I search our home every morning to see where he is and giggle at the many crazy places we find him.

This year I am sending out Christmas cards.  This year I am making the goodie baskets again.  This year the music is on in our house everyday.  This year we will go look at Christmas lights.

This year we are celebrating the birth of Christ. 

This year we will remember fondly of the many Christmas' that we had with our family when we were all here to celebrate.  We will remember Robin and we will remember my dad....and we will miss them terribly but we will make it through this day with joy and love in our hearts.

For now the doctor is out......remembering a certain Christmas where 3 little girls snuck out of bed in the wee hours of the morning to see what Santa brought to us......